Einstein Bros: Guided by a Familiar Love

Einstein Bros Bagels (everywhere…kind of)

The first time I visited an Einstein Bros Bagels, it was my pre-vegan days and I had a chocolate chip bagel, toasted, with cream cheese. I fell in love. I loved the clever turns of phrase they used (they wish you "Seasons Eatings!"; their "Darn Good Coffee" is "Darn Hot!"; they have "Egg-citing Creations" on the menu!). I loved that we abbreviated their name to "Einstein's Bagels," which combines the name of a famous physicist with the name for a delicious round piece of bread. I loved the black-and-white cartoon representation of the eponymous Einstein brothers on the company's logo. I loved that they used the word "shmear" for their cream cheese, and I loved how abundantly it was shmeared on my bagel, and how perfectly the shmear added a tart coolness to the melty chocolate chips nestled in the bagel beneath it. Einstein's Bagels also enlightened me to the fact that such a thing as a "chocolate chip bagel" existed, and I loved them for that.

Most importantly, I loved the fact that my grandmother took me there. She's a woman who knows what she likes and who's never given up on getting what she wants out of life. Which sounds like a cliche and a sweeping generalization, but rest assured that since emigrating from Wales/England/Canada/Oregon/NorCal (in that order), she's learned what she likes and how she likes it, and has very purposefully settled in mild, beautiful La Jolla. 

I mean, if you saw this out your window as you were passing through California (on your honeymoon, perhaps), wouldn't you just fall in love (with the place, not the man who would become your ex-husband, with whom you'd already presumed yourself to be in love and hence married)? Raise your kids nearby (in a less-affluent neighborhood, so they wouldn't be alienated by having rich La Jolla peers) and then buy a condo to move into with the love of your life (and leave those kids' father for said love of your life), staying there with the cats and the boyfriends who'd keep you company after your greatest love died (of heart problems), making friends with your cleaning lady and your neighbors and your hairdresser and pretty much everyone else because of your stunning, expansive, captivating, and otherwise epic-beach-view-like personality? Wouldn't you? You'd at least snap a picture out the window, right?

She's the delightful opposite of the sweet old lady who knits sweaters and cooks homemade treats for her grandchildren, so my fond childhood memories of visiting my grandmother involve restaurants rather than recipes. Breakfast at The Cottage. Lunch at The Sheraton. Dinner at Sammy's. (Not all on the same day, of course.) There'd be outings to check out a new Chinese restaurant that opened up, or to have lunch at a newly-discovered Mexican restaurant (one that actually makes chile rellenos good enough for my grandmother's seal of approval).

And every meal, at every restaurant, comes with coffee.

My grandmother drinks an abundance of coffee. She abhors drinking water, even though doctors keep telling her that staying hydrated is particularly important for her 92-year-old body. There's water in coffee. Cream is a liquid. She likes her drinks like she likes her opinions: strong. 

So it is with warmfuzzies associated with my first exposure to this place that I make it my home base.

The bagels are just meh, and definitely not too good for you because they’re loaded with preservatives and high fructose corn nonsense (a fact I’ve elected to overlook since I’ve decided to consider the chocolate chip and the sesame seed bagels vegan). And they don't really do ceramic/for-here/non-wasteful packaging...but look how cute the disposable stuff is:

The packaging is red and wintery! It says "CELEBRATE DARN GOOD COFFEE," which I find adorable! And look how cheap it all was!

Totally worth getting a bagel and a cup of bottomless coffee for $1.75. The coffee is surprisingly delicious (and, did I mention: bottomless cup?). Plus, if you fill out their online survey for each visit, your next visit’s coffee is FREE (with purchase…so what I do is pretend my bagel is the free part, since what I really come there to get is the delicious coffee, with the mediocre bagel as kind of a bonus). 

Oh, and in case you were worried that my previous picture showed an empty cup of bottomless coffee: evidence that there were still-steaming remnants of the holiday flavor I was sampling before committing to making it my first cupful. (Good thing too, because it was too vanilla-y for my taste, and I went with the Neighborhood Roast instead of the Winter Roast.)

The lighter/flavored roasts are excellent when consumed black, and the darker roasts are palatable (good, even, if you’re into the whole sugar-and-milk-additions scene). If you do dairy, I’m sure the assortment of flavored shmears is exciting, too. If memory serves me. Which it ought to, judging by the fact that my nostalgia for La Jolla has definitely been vindicated in other ways since moving here.

I love Einstein Bros Bagels, with its connotations of intelligence and of family, and with the way that this perfect combination of coffee and bagels happens to remind me how to have an opinion. An educated, passionate opinion. Which is what I like to think I have about Einstein's.

It's nothing special, really. But it's a more local chain than the Starbucks next door. (Einsteins can be found in SoCal, Arizona, and the southern bits of Nevada...if I read their map correctly.) And it's a place that reminds me of my maternal legacy of decisive opinions, uncompromising tastes, and (sometimes irrational) quirks. A no-nonsense home base, where I can set up camp with a bagel and a bottomless cup of steaming coffee as I plan my next chai-searching adventure.

Hours:
Closed by 5 p.m. Definitely a breakfast-and-lunch stop, not an all-hours oasis of vegan chai delight. Also, parking is obnoxious (you have to pay, and the parking lot is tiny).
Service:
I love them. Irrationally, since all they do is take my order and then tell me how much to pay. My order's been bungled more than once. They frequently forget to hand me my coffee cup. But they're so...lovable. I love them. Completely, and with abandon.
Seating:
Neither eclectic nor squashy, but not uncomfortable either. Highly functional: tables and chairs, some stools at counters.
Eatables:
Bagels. Some fruit cups and pastries or whatever, and plenty of sandwich/wrap breakfast and lunch options, if your into eggy/creamcheesey/loxy things.
People:
Older people, students, and working types just popping in for bagels and coffee. There can be quite a line, but the workers are always friendly and earn the happy regulars' definitional happiness.
Music:
Nope.

Oh, and they do have a "Chai Tea Latte" on their menu, but if you're nursing a hot beverage here there's no reason to let yourself get distracted from the BOTTOMLESS CUPS OF DARN GOOD COFFEE. Forgive my internet-shouting; I'm just a wee bit caffeinated.