Vampires and Cupcakes

My posting title is vaguely misleading, because I'm starting with the cupcakes. 

Disappointed? Me too.

Cups (7857 Girard Avenue, La Jolla, CA) 

I’ve only tried the “Best Chai in San Diego” once, but given the flavor of that pricey little drink, I doubt I’ll give it a second shot (pun?).

Maybe it’s the soy they use at Cups, but there was a distinctly plasticky flavor to my chai. Like…crayons. Or Play-Doh? (I’ve never actually tried Play-Doh, so I’m only guessing here…I hear it’s salty, so maybe not like Play-Doh. Maybe like Legos. Like something childish and bright, to match the contained/structured playfulness of the Cups décor.) Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it definitely doesn’t rank among my favorite flavors in a chai. Nothing spicy about crayons. 

Hours: Disappointing (they were in a temporary, ill-defined, shortened-hours period when I went around Thanksgiving).

Service: Nice enough. I like that their espresso-drink rewards cards have a little filing-box home by the cash register, so you don’t have to carry around a card that you’re only going to take out at the one location.

Seating: Minimal but sufficient, including a couple outdoor tables and a few indoor boxy things. Adorably, there’s a counter with barstools at it; and a chalkboard tent thing outside with the daily specials and “happy hour” advertised. You can’t sell cupcakes and *not* be adorable… 

Eatables: Cupcakes. (duh) 

People: High-maintenance La Jolla trend-followers/children. 

Music: Poppy.

...that was short. 

Perhaps I should follow up my little disdainful blurb about disappointing-cupcake-land with a more favorable experience? To pair my cheery, slim-hour-having little disappointment with a dark, always-open place of grand loveliness? Can do!

Lestat’s (3343 Adams Ave, "in the heart of Normal Heights," according to their site)

Kind of pricey. Like five bucks for a modest medium with soy. (I don’t remember the exact price, sorryI'mnotsorry.)

I’ve had it a couple times, and both times I’ve been left ambivalent. Soy is extra (of course), and the servers are a little cleverer-than-thou and impatient if you’re not a decided regular. The chai sippin's were a little grainy, but the drink was nice and hot. And its spiciness came to me in waves, finishing particularly strong.

My main issue was with the tea bag (which was left in the cup via an eye-pokingly intrusive wooden stirrer attached to the lid, potentially leading to over-steeping as I nursed the drink and attempted to evade its Oedipal designs on my face). Being the picky drink-picker that I am, I finished up my drink with an investigation into the tea bag.

 

Pulling apart the little sachet at first released a delicious and spicy aroma, but as I poked at it, the little mix of leaves abruptly released a strange and musty smell that I couldn’t help but associate with the grainy undertones of the drink I’d just consumed. Which retroactively (and unfairly, I guess) ruined the drink for me. Kind of. I’ll probably try it again. For scientific fairness. And because I love me a good vampire-themed coffeeshop. I just gotta test 'em out a bit more before I make any unholy alliances.

Hours: 24/7!

Service: …artsy? I got a soy hot chocolate once, which was poured with arm-stretching gusto and given the pourer’s full attention as it was topped with a precise amount of foam. I was treated with much less care and attention than my drink.

Seating: Quirky, vaguely allusive to the whole vampire theme without being too kitschy. Art for sale on the walls, which are colorful, is a bit stifled by the dim lighting. The front room (with double-screen-doors, which are strangely noteworthy and kind of intimidating for compulsive hold-the-door-open-for-others-ers like myself) looks more like a typical café. The massive side room, with colorful couches/thrones and a family-style table accompanying the typical little tables, seems to have a more thematic décor. The passageway between the two rooms holds an impressive array of postings for events and services, most of which are LGBT/vegan/pet-owner-friendly.

Eatables: A somewhat-pricey variety of quiches, soups, bagels, volcano-macaroons, giant cupcakes, sandwiches, granola bars, bananas, pastries, wraps, eggy/breakfasty things, etc.

People: The patrons are kind of strange, but in a charming and not completely off-putting way. What do you expect from a 24/7 coffeehouse by a “Normal Heights” sign…and one that’s named after a vampire, at that?

Music: Yeah, I think so. I tend to be distracted when I’m here. But apparently soundman Louis Brazier is a big deal.

It should go without saying, but my disdain for sweetness extends beyond the flavor of the chai and encompasses the atmosphere as well. 

So: Cups? Enemy to mine heart's desires. Lestat's, on the other hand? We can be friends. Not that you'll have me, you snooty Vampire refuge. 

Whatever. I can do better, I'm sure...

Living Room? More Like...Threshold

The Living Room (1010 Prospect Street, La Jolla CA)

Open late, serving caffeine and booze and desserts and hookah (so you can have ALL THE ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES). 

They’re not particularly friendly to me, but maybe it’s because I order mini coffees and sit there for two hours sipping at it as I read a book, then ask them to re-heat it two or three times (until they give up and just get me a new drink…which is actually really generous of them when I’ve ordered something pricier, like a dirty soy chai…though it kind of defeats my goal of warming the remnants of my beverage so I can actually finish it). 

Or maybe they’re less-than-friendly because they’re middle eastern and so am I (middle eastern people intuitively mistrust one another, I think…and it’s not racist if I say it because I’m including myself in there, right?). Really, I think they're just busy and they tend to get a large quantity of student/tourist lurkers, so they're not beaming and farting sunshine at you. It's part of their vaguely-punk vibe. Like their mohawk-piercing-coffee-sipper-cartoons on their coffeecup sleeves...

I don't appear to have hoarded pictures of the lovely Living Room, so here's a screenshot from Freaks and Geeks instead. James Franco's smile makes everything better.

If you’re a high-maintenance vegan, probably don’t come here for a meal. I asked if there were dairy or egg ingredients in the pitas that come with their baba ghanoush and the (unfriendly middle eastern) serverman told me: “They’re...pitas. I don’t know.” Geethanks. I guess I’ll stick with the overpriced vegan cookie-crisp-things by the register. Or an overpriced banana. You get away with the overpricedness because of your beach view and your antique/genie-whose-bottle-just-exploded-all-over-a-café décor, and the punk-rockers on your coffeesleeve logo.

Again, sorry for the lack of actual pictures. Here's William Carlos Williams in his underthings. Isn't the internet fabulous?

Aaanyway, their chai is not very remarkable: kind of grainy, kind of cinnamony, decent when dirty but otherwise a bit of a sugarbomb that leaves its sweet sweet shrapnel all over your teeth. BUT their vibe is getting close to what I'm looking for in my lurking-while-clutching-a-chai scene. So...close? So close.

Hours: 6 a.m. to midnight

Service: You have to ask for an actual ceramic mug (otherwise you get a to-go cup, even if you say it’s for dine-in). The cashiermen tend to be frowny but not unaccommodating. I’ve had my order messed up a couple times, but I’ve also had free refills and excessive friendliness from a few of the staff members sooo I guess it balances out.

Seating: Downstairs café-like ambiance, upstairs hookahlounge and bar. The ocean is just visible out the windows, and there are also TV screens by the bar-region for you to catch football games or whatever. (Go Vikings!)

Eatables: Pastries, sandwiches, middle eastern stuff, fries, etc. More excitingly: honey packets! Full of honey! On the counter with the other drink-doctoring supplies! Including cinnamon(!) and cream and sugar and fakesugar.

People: Wifi-(ab)using students, adorable old people, families/tourists, hookah-smokers.

Music: Slightly less charming/quirky than other area coffee shops (with a cleaner, more uptight vibe than Pannikin...which is a charming place a few blocks east, which I shall review at a later date), but a similar ambiance from the medley of oldies, top-forties, and random hip hop or whatever seems to be on the baristas’ iPods.

Einstein Bros: Guided by a Familiar Love

Einstein Bros Bagels (everywhere…kind of)

The first time I visited an Einstein Bros Bagels, it was my pre-vegan days and I had a chocolate chip bagel, toasted, with cream cheese. I fell in love. I loved the clever turns of phrase they used (they wish you "Seasons Eatings!"; their "Darn Good Coffee" is "Darn Hot!"; they have "Egg-citing Creations" on the menu!). I loved that we abbreviated their name to "Einstein's Bagels," which combines the name of a famous physicist with the name for a delicious round piece of bread. I loved the black-and-white cartoon representation of the eponymous Einstein brothers on the company's logo. I loved that they used the word "shmear" for their cream cheese, and I loved how abundantly it was shmeared on my bagel, and how perfectly the shmear added a tart coolness to the melty chocolate chips nestled in the bagel beneath it. Einstein's Bagels also enlightened me to the fact that such a thing as a "chocolate chip bagel" existed, and I loved them for that.

Most importantly, I loved the fact that my grandmother took me there. She's a woman who knows what she likes and who's never given up on getting what she wants out of life. Which sounds like a cliche and a sweeping generalization, but rest assured that since emigrating from Wales/England/Canada/Oregon/NorCal (in that order), she's learned what she likes and how she likes it, and has very purposefully settled in mild, beautiful La Jolla. 

I mean, if you saw this out your window as you were passing through California (on your honeymoon, perhaps), wouldn't you just fall in love (with the place, not the man who would become your ex-husband, with whom you'd already presumed yourself to be in love and hence married)? Raise your kids nearby (in a less-affluent neighborhood, so they wouldn't be alienated by having rich La Jolla peers) and then buy a condo to move into with the love of your life (and leave those kids' father for said love of your life), staying there with the cats and the boyfriends who'd keep you company after your greatest love died (of heart problems), making friends with your cleaning lady and your neighbors and your hairdresser and pretty much everyone else because of your stunning, expansive, captivating, and otherwise epic-beach-view-like personality? Wouldn't you? You'd at least snap a picture out the window, right?

She's the delightful opposite of the sweet old lady who knits sweaters and cooks homemade treats for her grandchildren, so my fond childhood memories of visiting my grandmother involve restaurants rather than recipes. Breakfast at The Cottage. Lunch at The Sheraton. Dinner at Sammy's. (Not all on the same day, of course.) There'd be outings to check out a new Chinese restaurant that opened up, or to have lunch at a newly-discovered Mexican restaurant (one that actually makes chile rellenos good enough for my grandmother's seal of approval).

And every meal, at every restaurant, comes with coffee.

My grandmother drinks an abundance of coffee. She abhors drinking water, even though doctors keep telling her that staying hydrated is particularly important for her 92-year-old body. There's water in coffee. Cream is a liquid. She likes her drinks like she likes her opinions: strong. 

So it is with warmfuzzies associated with my first exposure to this place that I make it my home base.

The bagels are just meh, and definitely not too good for you because they’re loaded with preservatives and high fructose corn nonsense (a fact I’ve elected to overlook since I’ve decided to consider the chocolate chip and the sesame seed bagels vegan). And they don't really do ceramic/for-here/non-wasteful packaging...but look how cute the disposable stuff is:

The packaging is red and wintery! It says "CELEBRATE DARN GOOD COFFEE," which I find adorable! And look how cheap it all was!

Totally worth getting a bagel and a cup of bottomless coffee for $1.75. The coffee is surprisingly delicious (and, did I mention: bottomless cup?). Plus, if you fill out their online survey for each visit, your next visit’s coffee is FREE (with purchase…so what I do is pretend my bagel is the free part, since what I really come there to get is the delicious coffee, with the mediocre bagel as kind of a bonus). 

Oh, and in case you were worried that my previous picture showed an empty cup of bottomless coffee: evidence that there were still-steaming remnants of the holiday flavor I was sampling before committing to making it my first cupful. (Good thing too, because it was too vanilla-y for my taste, and I went with the Neighborhood Roast instead of the Winter Roast.)

The lighter/flavored roasts are excellent when consumed black, and the darker roasts are palatable (good, even, if you’re into the whole sugar-and-milk-additions scene). If you do dairy, I’m sure the assortment of flavored shmears is exciting, too. If memory serves me. Which it ought to, judging by the fact that my nostalgia for La Jolla has definitely been vindicated in other ways since moving here.

I love Einstein Bros Bagels, with its connotations of intelligence and of family, and with the way that this perfect combination of coffee and bagels happens to remind me how to have an opinion. An educated, passionate opinion. Which is what I like to think I have about Einstein's.

It's nothing special, really. But it's a more local chain than the Starbucks next door. (Einsteins can be found in SoCal, Arizona, and the southern bits of Nevada...if I read their map correctly.) And it's a place that reminds me of my maternal legacy of decisive opinions, uncompromising tastes, and (sometimes irrational) quirks. A no-nonsense home base, where I can set up camp with a bagel and a bottomless cup of steaming coffee as I plan my next chai-searching adventure.

Hours:
Closed by 5 p.m. Definitely a breakfast-and-lunch stop, not an all-hours oasis of vegan chai delight. Also, parking is obnoxious (you have to pay, and the parking lot is tiny).
Service:
I love them. Irrationally, since all they do is take my order and then tell me how much to pay. My order's been bungled more than once. They frequently forget to hand me my coffee cup. But they're so...lovable. I love them. Completely, and with abandon.
Seating:
Neither eclectic nor squashy, but not uncomfortable either. Highly functional: tables and chairs, some stools at counters.
Eatables:
Bagels. Some fruit cups and pastries or whatever, and plenty of sandwich/wrap breakfast and lunch options, if your into eggy/creamcheesey/loxy things.
People:
Older people, students, and working types just popping in for bagels and coffee. There can be quite a line, but the workers are always friendly and earn the happy regulars' definitional happiness.
Music:
Nope.

Oh, and they do have a "Chai Tea Latte" on their menu, but if you're nursing a hot beverage here there's no reason to let yourself get distracted from the BOTTOMLESS CUPS OF DARN GOOD COFFEE. Forgive my internet-shouting; I'm just a wee bit caffeinated.

StarbUCKS: A Refusal

StarbUCKS (everywhere)

Just playin’ with the capitalization thing, Seattle-based chain of corporate coffee. You’re okay. Even if your regular drip roast is intolerably strong… Hooray for clover presses, right?

Similarly, the chai is nothing special. Too sugary. (Yes, I realize chai is traditionally served very sweet. My Stash teabags remind me of that fact every time I brew up my own cup at home. Butstill.) I refuse to review it.

Hours:  
Early enough and late enough.
Service:  
Usually nice and friendly...I think the corporate overlords treat their employees quite well, which might explain their cheeriness with having to call a medium a "grande" and make "skinny lattes" for high-maintenance people in business suits at all hours.
Seating:
Not too eclectic or squashy, but well-maintained, clean, and highly functional. Tables and workspaces, as well as armchairs with side-tables.
Eatables:
Sure. Once I got a fruit cup and its contents were squashy and disappointing. I hear their bagels and molasses cookies are vegan, and some Starbucks locations sell overpriced dried fruit packs.
People:
Busy and mostly unpretentious crowds, middleschoolers just starting to experiment with coffee, wired college students, professional lurkers, and suits.
Music:  
Pretentious, coffeeshoppy soundtrack of Billie Holliday and Bon Iver and '90s music, with interesting covers and seasonal (Christmas) music. Gotta love those free iTunes songs of the week.